Micro-Orbital Lunar Winter Activity 53
by dave ring
It’s Time to Reconnect with the Past: RETRO SÉANCES
Thanks for subscribing to our micro-orbital lunar winter activity newsletter, <FirstName HiveNumber>! Filling time through the lunar winter can become dull without exciting activities to liven up the months of dark days. Break up the doldrums with this daring retro occult activity!
Did you know that, throughout the First and Second Neo-Victorian Wars, wartime rituals that centered séances were commonplace? Squad captains would gather their soldiers together to contact the otherworld in preparation for battle amidst the stars. Only in recent years have séances been returning to favor amidst the hive. However, it is still possible to utilize the tools of those long ago generals for the purpose of connecting with spirits. Keep reading to learn more!
Supplies
Use this opportunity to borrow more than sugar from your neighbors! In order to hold a retro séance, you need a few willing participants and a number of important objects. Asking hivemates with a healthy suspension of disbelief, or those with ancestors connected to the military, can improve the séance's chances of success.
Pro Tip! Make sure you hire a sitter; retro séances often have an adult flavor and it would be inappropriate to expose children to the intensity of the experience.
Other materials you’ll need include a flat surface to gather around, a candle for every participant, something to offer the spirit you are hoping to speak with, and some tertiary safety materials like fire-retardant sprays, canisters of sea salt, and water-based lubricant.
How to Hold a Retro Séance
To hold a retro séance, and increase the chances of contacting a spirit, follow these steps:
Assemble the Participants: We recommend that you reach out to at least two other hivemates within walking distance of your cell. No fewer than three people should attempt a retro séance, as the spirits summoned can be unpredictable and having at least two physically-capable participants nearby to subdue unwelcome guests is essential.
Choose a Medium: A successful séance often results in the possession of one of the participants by your otherworldly visitor. It can be helpful to designate this person ahead of time, so that they have had an opportunity to hydrate, stretch and otherwise prepare themselves for hosting. If you’re not sure who is most suitable, have a quick conversation amongst your hivemates to ascertain who has had the most agency while dreaming. Lucid dreaming has often been linked to successful spirit channeling.
Use the Right Surface: A flat surface to gather spectral energies is essential for a séance. While spare tables are in short supply in the hive, it can be helpful to improvise an alternate surface from that supplied with your cell. Circular tables are perhaps best suited for genteel ancestral ghosts, while square surfaces often result in ill-tempered poltergeists. Regulation hexagonal tables will still function, of course, but the sacred geometry of sixes appears to be keyed towards an erotic sublevel of the first, second or fourth hell, and often will result in the séance devolving into an orgy of calisthenic proportions. Unless that is the desired result, of course, in which case you might want to check out our networked appendices for 15 Sensual Tips to Most Amplify Your Demonic Intercoital Stamina (free with your subscription to this micro-orbital lunar winter activity newsletter).
Set the Table: Place your offering in the center of the table. The type of offering is believed to influence the nature of the otherworldly visitor that you summon. We often recommend a fragrant baked good or soup, as the steam is meant to be comforting for those otherworldly guests that miss human sustenance. Please note that, when using a hexagonal table, we have observed that the pistil and stamen arrangements of floral offerings often correspond to the interests and appetites of the demonic energies called forth.
Light Candles: Retro séances are rarely successful without the warmth and light of at least one candle, and if you follow our instructions by utilizing a subchant routine which you can purchase from us for a low by-orbital fee, the séance will abruptly cease when the last candle has been snuffed.
Create Some Atmosphere: Turn down all ambient light sensors and manually pause all feeds, including subaural routines.
Join Hands: Seated around the designated surface, you and the participants should all join hands or otherwise form a continuous connection. Those who can’t or prefer not to hold hands can use a silk rope or cord as a method to achieve this connection, or conduct the séance within a salt circle.
Summon the Spirit: After securing the séance space with a circle of some sort, the summoning can begin. The actual words are not important, so much as chanting or silently thinking them in unison. Please note that poltergeists are rarely worth the novelty and it is very difficult to get your deposit back if the hive learns the reason for the destruction of your cell.
Wait for a Response: If no response comes, repeat the chant until an otherworldly guest arrives. Encourage your participants to quiet any skepticism they might be feeling, because that will hamper the séance’s occult energy.
Communicate: If and when a spirit responds—either by rapping, or some other means, or through the medium—communicate in whatever manner feels most appropriate. If you accidentally or intentionally summon a demon from an erotic sublevel of the first, second or fourth hell, be very mindful of how you frame your statements, because the demon will interpret this as consent. Communication can be hard, especially if your cell is located in one of the more conservative hives, but we expect that you’ll find conversing with the spirit world to be thought-provoking and fun!
Greet the Spirit and Set Boundaries: It is expected that you’ll ask the spirit simple yes and no questions at first, especially as the otherworld guest is situating themselves in their new host. Ask the spirit for one rap to communicate no, and two raps to communicate yes, for example.
Pro Tip! Demons from erotic sublevels of the third hell are significantly more powerful and are bound not by stated consent but rather by your unstated wishes and desires. This has proven incendiary amongst participants who were not aware of their colleagues’ individual erotic desires as well as those with self-destructive thoughts. These demons can be identified by a number of traits, including wings in excess of the typical two dozen, bifurcated double phalli, and/or labial dentata with full rotational capability.
Those inexperienced in demonic coitus, as well as those with expressed masochistic tendencies (even as mild as thinking “That woman could step on me”), are encouraged to immediately cease any retro séance during which the medium manifests any of these visual signifiers.
Communicate Directly: If a spirit chooses to speak through the medium, you may ask any kind of question. A séance allows for getting to know the otherworld in new and exciting ways. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. The ancient soldiers took this time to bond with each other and grow closer before facing adversity. What better way for you and your hivemates to pass the interminable lunar winter than to try something new?
Maintain Control: While you won’t have access to the safety equipment of the First and Second Neo-Victorian Wars (Editor’s Note: Check out our special full-color fold-out—complete with an artist rendering of a demonic neural brimstone saddle—and instructions on how to make a model anti-spectral hyperthermal artillery cannon!), by negotiating carefully in Step 11, you may set up verbal agreements with your otherworld guests. If the séance seems to be getting out of hand, you can end it by extinguishing all of the candles and/or utilizing any safe word that you have established with your otherworldly guests early in the session.
End the Séance: When you're done with your visitation, thank the otherworldly guest for their time and ask them to leave. If they are unable or unwilling, you can break the circle and/or extinguish the candles.
Hosting a retro séance can be an exhilarating and fulfilling experience. When hosting your own, be sure to follow these steps in order to yield the most positive results. If for any reason Step 14 is unsuccessful, consider fleeing the room and taking shelter in any nearby building that still has an intact historical spectral shelter. These buildings typically have enough of the vintage synthetic lead-salt weave in the walls that the otherworldly guest will be unable to cross the threshold.
For additional ways to pass time during the lunar winter, check out our twice-orbital supplements Tarot Today: Fun New Rituals for an Inescapable Future, Must See TV: Retro Media and Ancient Secrets of the Twentieth Century, and for residents of solo hives, Modern Principles and Occult Practices of Auto-Erotic Asphysixiation.
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About the Author
dave ring is a queer writer of speculative fiction living in Washington, DC. He is the author of The Hidden Ones (2021, Rebel Satori Press) and numerous short stories. He is also the publisher and managing editor of Neon Hemlock Press, and the co-editor of Baffling Magazine. Find him online at www.dave-ring.com or @slickhop on Twitter.
© Micro-Orbital Lunar Winter Activity 53 by dave ring. 2022. All rights reserved.
